1. |
Bizzy
02:39
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Why do I feel out of place in my own outer space?
It took so much of me to lift my body up today.
I thought of something strange,
then I cast it from my brain.
I spun around until I was too bizzy to complain.
I wish that I could fall in love again,
and see the world for what it truly is.
But I can’t remember how so my shadow leads me now,
with steady blind devotion I never have to leave my house.
And when my chest keeps heating up,
and when the air won’t reach my lungs,
I throw my hands up to the sky but I can’t reach far enough.
I wish that I could fall in love again,
and see the world for what it truly is.
I wish that I could fall in love with anything.
One more time, anything.
And I hope you never see me like the way I see myself,
and I shattered every mirror in my house but it still hurts like hell.
So here I go, such a struggle to begin.
I’ll rewrite every word until I can’t feel anything.
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2. |
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Beyond reproach, we swam back to the boat.
I played ‘Thunderstruck’ but the speaker on my iPhone sucks.
Hey, wait. What did you say? I’ve been dying to know.
Let’s stay in love. Baby, let’s stay in love.
Let’s stay in love.
As I decompose I keep my hold on hope.
There’s still time for us but my teeth are rotting out my skull.
Hey, wait. What did you say? I’m still dying to know.
Let’s stay in love. Baby, let’s stay in love.
Let’s stay in, love. Let’s just stay in love.
Before I fade into the background of your memory.
Let’s stay in love. Baby, let’s stay in love.
Let’s stay in, love.
Let’s just stay in. Let’s just stay in love.
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3. |
||||
The house is cold now cuz it’s been raining,
and I miss Jenny and I need money.
Will I look back on today years from now, if ever?
And dream about computer screens and the things I wish I had done differently?
Will you search for me when I go missing?
You know where I’ll be: trapped inside my head.
A mouthful of doubt I can’t spit out now cuz they’re all watching to see if I’m worth it.
Will I look back on today years from now, or never?
And cry in front of my TV for the things I wish I had done differently?
Will you search for me when I go missing?
You know where I’ll be: trapped inside my head.
Will you search for me when I go missing?
You know where I’ll be.
You know I’ll be panicking in the Starbucks in the Target across the street,
wishing I was someone else or just myself with a slightly nicer body.
And I can’t believe you found me. Was I glowing the dark?
And you glared at me so loudly that I burst into confetti for the things I wish I had done differently.
Will you search for me when I go missing?
You know where I’ll be.
Will you search for me when I go missing?
You know where I’ll be. You know where I’ll be.
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4. |
Too Dark
03:41
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Walk down the street to get black tea, pass by the pawn shop and church.
One foot in front of my body as I plot out which shadows to lurk.
J.O.Y. called me out from the void; she finally listened to my record.
And it feels nice to hear someone else’s voice cuz I’ve only heard mine for forever.
It’s too dark in here to ever get anything done, so thank you to the ones who open up the windows.
Cassie is sleeping in Silver Lake, I’m back in Florida for work
but it’s 7AM and I’m still awake, online buying a Neil Young t-shirt.
Now all of the wrens in the neighborhood are rioting out in the streets,
a notification lights up my phone: Cassie saying goodnight to me.
It’s too dark in here to ever get anything done, so thank you to the ones who open up the windows.
Open up the windows.
And I flew out of state to get out of my way but all those bad habits followed.
I threw out the clock but the time didn’t stop. I took a dive but it was too shallow.
It’s too dark in here to ever get anything done, so thank you to the ones who open up the windows.
Open up the windows.
You open up the windows.
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5. |
Domain Lapse
03:08
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Hiding in a closet in the backroom at your job, counting down the hours earned til you can finally walk.
A couple thousand dollars more and you’ll talk to your boss.
“Thank you, but goodbye. I’ve been unhappy here too long.”
Let the domain lapse, never reply back, they can’t make you stay,
so go on, go on, get on your way.
Some things take forever, but it’s never too late.
All I see is danger every sunny afternoon, the possibilities are endless and I’m terrified to choose.
This universe is a matador and the cape, it waves for you. Either way you die at the end so you better cut him up too.
Let the domain lapse, never reply back, they can’t make you stay,
so go on, go on, get on your way.
Some things take forever, but it’s never too late.
Some things take forever, but it’s never too late for us.
Even as the pixels break, eternal hard drive shut down.
We won’t care what we have lost, only what we’ve got.
Let the domain lapse, never reply back, they can’t make you stay,
so go on, go on, get on your way.
Some things take forever, but it’s never too late.
Some things take forever, but it’s never too late.
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6. |
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My anger turns to apathy before my mouth can disagree.
Did you even consider me when you were making plans?
I heard it from a mutual that this is not unusual.
I’ll come to your funeral to kick your stupid ass.
Does the good outweigh the bad and all those stars we grasp?
Did I put too much faith in a vacant outer space?
Does the good outweigh the bad?
Sharp left turn to depression. I spent the day in bed again.
HD Jerk Off Instructions I wish I didn’t watch.
But I can never find a release to keep my chaotic life clean.
Overcome with jealousy for the friends I try to love.
Does the good outweigh the bad and all those stars we grasp?
Did I put too much weight on a sliding state of grace?
Does the good outweigh the bad?
Does the good outweigh the bad?
Burning til I burst into oblivion beyond,
it hurts to be alone but I’m afraid of everyone.
Yes I mean everyone!!!!
Does the good outweigh the bad and all those stars we grasp?
Did I put too much stock in the debts I can’t pay off?
Did I try too hard to change when I should just stay the same?
Does the good outweigh the bad?
Does the good outweigh the bad?
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7. |
I Was Amazing
03:03
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What if I was amazing? What if everything worked?
Would I be worth saving or would I sink into the dirt?
I will wake up fine through another night.
It gets so loud sometimes, but I will stay alive.
I spend every day waiting, my replies all rehearsed.
Oh god it’s so devastating. The ways I measure my worth.
I will wake up fine through another night.
It gets so loud sometimes, but I will stay alive.
I can’t fall asleep and I can’t wake up, why does a stranger live in my skull?
Watch my warning signs explode. How will I survive through another night?
I will wake up fine through another night.
It gets so loud sometimes, but I will stay alive.
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8. |
R U Still There?
02:34
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I’ve been breathing weird for this entire year - the year Heath Ledger died. At least Prince is still alive.
You’ve been in the shower for longer than an hour. The water’s freezing cold but you just need some time alone.
Are you still there? I’m on your side.
I know you love me, but I do not know why.
You told me not to worry so I came home in a hurry cuz you didn’t say what for, so of course I worried more.
The days have been so sad since the night we lost your dad, and it feels worse when they say that he’s “in a better place”.
Um, ok??
Are you still there? I’m on your side.
I know you love me, but I do not know why.
Are you still there? I’m on your side.
I know you love me, but I do not know why.
I don’t know why.
I don’t know why.
Are you still there? I’m on your side.
I know you love me, but I do not know why.
Are you still there? I’m on your side.
I know you love me, but I do not know why.
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9. |
Surrender
03:07
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Are you really gone? Were you hanging on for at least as long as I had?
Tried to talk to you, make sure it was cool, but your car was gone when I got out of bed.
I hope they let me surrender. Maybe they’ll take me instead.
Oh there’s something that I need to tell you,
but I’m afraid to talk to you again.
Another short response to a monologue. My voice shakes like a broken tape.
Are you actually alive or did you kind of just ‘survive’? I kind of always thought that you might stay.
I hope they let me surrender. Maybe they’ll take me instead.
Oh there’s something that I need to tell you,
but I’m afraid to talk to you again.
So what? What if the last time I saw you was the night before you left New York?
And what if the next time I need you it’s all shut off? It’s all shut off. It’s all shut off.
I hope they let me surrender. Maybe they’ll take me instead.
Oh there’s something that I need to tell you,
but I’m afraid to talk to you again.
I’m afraid to talk to you again.
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10. |
Space In Yr Love
02:55
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How can I, how can I, how can I, how can I tell you how I feel?
How do I know it’s real or if I just made it up?
And how can I keep my mouth shut? Keep the words from slipping right out.
What if I just made it up?
Feeling just a little all alone, dreaming on the drive home.
Will I see you in another life? Wonder if there’s space in your love.
I wonder if there’s space in your love.
And I caught up with all your shows, though I don’t think they’re my shows, I watched every episode.
And I can’t take my mind off all this time that I’ve lost. How will I ever make it up?
Feeling just a little all alone, dreaming on the drive home.
Will I see you in another life? Wonder if there’s space in your love.
I wonder if there’s space in your love.
Wonder if there’s space in your love,
wonder if there’s space in your love.
I wonder if there’s space, yeah I wonder if there’s space,
yes I wonder if there’s space in your love.
How can I, how can I, how can I, how can I tell you how I feel?
How do I know it’s real? I think I made it up.
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11. |
Floruit De Maga
03:08
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The glowing Rincón moon glazed the Caribbean waves,
crashed up on the coast in such a peaceful way.
Standing on the beach with a cigarette,
putting down a Coors Light before bed,
and all your girls as happy as you’ve ever seen them.
Do you really have to leave? One goodbye is all I need.
If I bargain with the universe could I have a star to keep?
Do you really have to leave?
The central Florida sunlight was, for once, not so bad.
With arms locked together til the oak at the end.
After all the guests watched the first dance,
you took the floor and you held out your hand.
and all your girls as happy as you’ve ever seen them.
Do you really have to leave? One goodbye is all I need.
If I bargain with the universe could I have a star to keep?
Do you really have to leave? I need more than memories.
Are you floating through the mystery or are you in the room with me?
Do you really have to?
Do you really have to swim out towards the light? Now you can reach the sunrise.
You’re that star up in the sky I see every night.
Do you really have to leave? One goodbye is all I need.
If I bargain with the universe could I have a star to keep?
Do you really have to leave? I need more than memories.
Are you floating through the atmosphere or are you in the car with me?
Do you really have to leave?
You were smoking one last cigarette,
putting down a Coors Light before bed.
And all your girls as happy as you’ve ever seen them.
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12. |
Credits
03:37
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My phone was off, I was in a movie when you called.
The credits rolled, I’m watching my inbox overflow.
There you go again, trying to rewrite the ending so it looks like the beginning.
As I walked back I thought of all the questions I won’t ask,
like “Where’d you go?”. If you don’t want me to miss you then I won’t.
There you go again, trying to rewrite the ending so it looks like the beginning.
There you go again, trying to get back in my head, but no, you don’t belong.
No one ever notices those little subtle references.
So I wrote down a reply detached enough.
It said
“I love you too. I understand. I’m sorry this is happening.”
There you go again, trying to rewrite the ending so it looks like the beginning.
There you go again, trying to get back in my head, you know you don’t belong.
There you go.
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Chris Farren Los Angeles, California
INDIE POP ON POLYVINYL RECORDS
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